What a 1:1 is for
A 1:1 has one job: to be the regular, protected time where a person can raise anything with their manager and expect to be heard. Status can go in a stand-up or a message. Performance reviews have their own cycle. The 1:1 is for everything that doesn't fit anywhere else: how they're finding the work, what's getting in the way, where they want to go, and the thing they've been sitting on for three weeks.
That's why the single rule that matters most is: it's their meeting. You bring the structure; they bring the content.
The practical setup
- Weekly, 30 minutes. Enough to go beyond status, short enough to hold. Fortnightly if your team is large; never monthly.
- Same slot every week. Moving it reads as "something else mattered more". Cancel only for real emergencies, and reschedule rather than skip.
- A shared document that persists between meetings, where either of you can add items during the week. The agenda writes itself and nothing gets lost.
- Not the last meeting on a Friday, and not back-to-back with another 1:1 if you can help it. You need to be present.
An agenda you can copy
- 1How are things?Open, then wait.
- 2What's in the way?Their items first.
- 3What's next?Priorities; your items.
- 4Anything else?Career, the team, you.
Four parts, in this order, every time:
1. How are things? (5 minutes) Open, not "any blockers?". "How's the week been?" and then wait. Most of what matters is in the first thing they say after the pause.
2. What's in the way? (10 minutes) Their items first. Blockers, decisions they need, things they want your view on. Resist solving everything in the room; often the useful move is to ask what they'd do.
3. What's next? (10 minutes) Priorities for the coming week, anything you need to tell them, upcoming changes. This is where your items go, after theirs.
4. Anything else? (5 minutes) Career, development, how they're finding the team, you. The question that unlocks it: "Is there anything you've been meaning to raise?"
End with two or three written actions, each with an owner. Send them within the hour.
Turn this into advice for one person on your team.
Adapting it to the person
The same agenda runs very differently with different people, and most 1:1 problems come from running it the same way with everyone. Some patterns, using DISC-style language because most managers have met it:
- Direct, decisive people (high D) want the agenda in advance, decisions made, and to get out early. A ten-minute warm-up feels like a waste. Lead with what needs deciding.
- Sociable, upbeat people (high I) want the conversation first; the actions will drift unless you write them down. Let them talk, then pin it.
- Steady, loyal people (high S) won't raise problems unless asked, and won't be rushed. Keep the slot sacred, ask open questions, and leave silence for the answer.
- Careful, analytical people (high C) want material in advance and the reasoning behind decisions. Send the numbers the day before.
If you have your team's personality reports, this is the one place to use them every week. If you don't, watch how each person handles the first five minutes and adjust from there.
The mistakes that waste 1:1s
Making it a status update. If you could get the content from a message, you've wasted the meeting. Move status elsewhere.
Talking too much. A rough test: if you've spoken more than half the time, it was your meeting, not theirs.
Cancelling. Each cancellation makes the next one less likely to surface anything real.
Solving everything. Managers who fix every problem in the room train people to bring problems rather than solutions. Ask "what are your options?" before offering yours.
Saving feedback for the 1:1. Feedback should be close to the event. The 1:1 is for following up, not for a weekly verdict.
No follow-through. Actions that vanish teach people the meeting doesn't matter. Write them down; check them next week.
For the person being managed
If you're reading this from the other side: your 1:1 is yours. Add your items beforehand. Raise the thing you've been avoiding. Ask for what you need, in plain words: more direction, less checking-in, a decision, a clearer sense of where you stand. Most managers will adjust to what they know; very few can adjust to what nobody tells them.
Questions managers ask
How often should 1:1s be?
Weekly, 30 minutes, is the default that works for most teams. Fortnightly is the minimum. Monthly 1:1s become status reports, because too much has happened to talk about anything else.
Should I cancel a 1:1 when there's nothing to discuss?
Rarely. Cancelling teaches people the meeting is optional and signals they're not a priority. A short 1:1 with nothing urgent is where the real conversations happen.
Who sets the agenda?
They do, with a standing structure from you as the fallback. Ask them to add their items before the meeting. If they never do, that's worth a conversation in itself.
Should I take notes?
Yes, briefly, and share the actions afterwards. Not a transcript: the two or three things that were decided, and anything you promised.